I remember when I was in Secondary 2 my English teacher asked the class this question.

"Do you thank your parents when they give you pocket money?"

Understandably, the general response of the class was negative. She raised an eyebrow and passed some snide remarks which went along the lines of "youngsters these days are so spoilt and ungrateful" before happily launching into a long-drawn description about how her oh-so-obedient children never fail to thank her for giving them money. For the record, she was constantly singing praises of her children in those one-sided discussions that occur almost every other lesson.

Anyway, her words did knock some sense into me that time. All along, collecting pocket money was a very straightforward process for me. When they are due, my dad would place the money on my room's table after I have slept, ready for collection the next morning before I go to school. It's unlike receiving Ang Pao money during Chinese New Year which involves a direct give-and-take interaction and saying Thank You is the only natural thing to do. The money just appeared on my table overnight and all I had to do was to count the amount and stuff it inside my wallet. Over time, I lost all sense of gratitude towards receiving those monthly allowances. While the teacher did made me realise belatedly that it was very unbecoming of me, I could not care less. I have not thanked him once for so many years, doing so all of a sudden would involve such high weirdness factor. Maintaining the status quo was the best way out.

Fast forward 5 years. As I entered National Service and started having my own regular wages, my dad cut the purse strings and I became financially on my own. I paid for almost all my expenses less handphone and internet bills. No more sponsorship for those bus and MRT rides and fast-food meals. It all had to be budgeted in the $520-per-month. I had to think twice before purchasing that pair of jeans from Levis or that pair of limited edition sneakers from Addidas because doing so would mean more instant noodle meals for weekends. I go through the monthly cycle of going berserk on pay-day and turning penniless towards the end of the month.

A few days ago, I received the very last pay cheque from the SAF. I am now really on my own. Not only will I not be receiving monthly top-ups in my bank account, I do not get free rations meals from SFI anymore. I HAVE to get employed as soon as possible before driving drains my savings dry. I really wish I had pocket money to turn to.

Things took a deeper sense of surreality yesterday night when, in the midst of doing my own stuff, my dad came up to me and passed me some cash. Shamelessly my eye widened at the sight of those red and blue notes but still, I was totally taken aback. “拿去用啦”, he said in response to my bewildered look. I accepted it without much qualm (oops) but for the first time, I thanked him for the money. I really did. The two words just escaped my lips naturally. Keeping the money in my wallet, I felt all of a schooling kid again. =)